The Movement of Fear

Fear appears to be being caught in the steel grip of “desire”.

How fear appears to move in me:

Something sits and watches and waits for something to happen to support, reinforce, or justify the continued occupation of a particular unpleasant thought from the past. This seemingly uncontrollably recalled/remembered/reoccurring thought handily serves to keep me in a pretty near constant state of mental “terror” and molestation.

This mental state then immediately may, or may not, manifest in some physical sensation that would be the proof that is being searched for that the feared thing is indeed happening. E.g. “Ah, there’s that pain in my chest…I must be having that heart attack as I thought!”

This then is capable of turning into a viscous cycle of a panic attack that is also feared might result in a trip to the emergency room, and ultimately to the undertaker either via an actually real heart attack, the death that may result from financial bankruptcy if one does not have health insurance.

So the choice in the mind then becomes…”Hmmm I’m stuck between death and death.” Which then may generate more stress. And the cycle ensues.

The persistent, or constantly repeating thought pattern in question is of the form “I do NOT want (fill in the blank)”.

This is essentially a thought pattern of “I want (fill in the blank)” as in order to “negate” anything, that “thing” must first exit.

So in essence, “I do NOT want (fill in the blank)” must first create “(fill in the blank)”.

As may be additionally observed, this constantly repeating thought of the form “I want” creates the mental concept of “I”. It’s the act of “self-imaging”, or “self objectification”, or creating a mental image or object out of one’s self/being/existence.

This movement is the act of the creation of a superficial mental division which then, once believed in (the “I”) creates the false perception of division.

The creation of this mental concept of a “self”, or an “I” also, automatically creates the mental concept of “other than self”, or “NOT I”.

Now there exists an “I” who is/can-be/experiences this thing other than I called “fear”.

Now there exists a world “out there” to be afraid of.

Now there exists an “I” that is capable fo dying, or un-becoming “I”.

It’s also worth mentioning at this point that If one looks a little more closely into this they should soon see that both are really the same as “I want…”, and “I don’t want…” are both wants as a “don’t want” is still a “want”.

So the experience of “fear” appears to be in essence having the mind stuck in the perpetual thought form of “I want…” which is the state of perpetual “desire”.

If one is afraid, they cannot be fully present because fear itself is a mental movement away from the present. Or stated differently, it is a lack of acknowledgement, or the denial of the present.

Since fear and desire are two sides of the same coin, it may then also be seen that desire operates in the same manner. When one is experiencing desire, there is again, a focused movement away from the present on a narrow focus of the object of desire, whatever it is.

[Observe this for yourself. Observer your own thinking. Watch it. How it moves, how it operates, how it functions like lifting up the hood of a running car to see and observe the engine running.]

And so in this way, we are in essence, unknowingly “mentally impairing” ourselves which might be the explanation behind the hypothesis that we only ever use at most 10% of our brains or some such.

And so in this way both the “processes” of fear & desire, in essence, “sap” our mental ability. That is they cloud, or obfuscate our ability to achieve the most accurate and wholly appropriate judgement in any given moment.

So with this mental formation/concept called “I”, what is it that really dies?

Is any of this true?

Please examine this for yourself without any motive, for if you have a motive it will dictate the answer.