Why Are We So Preoccupied With Blame?

Let’s look together at exactly what it means to “blame” someone.

Well, let’s first look at what we’re saying to someone when we blame them for something. It would usually take the form of “If you did, or didn’t do ‘X’ this would, or wouldn’t have happened”. Meaning, “you’re the cause of all our suffering right now” “It was because of your actions, or inactions, that we are experiencing something highly unpleasant and negative right now”.

On the face of this, it doesn’t seem like a particularly constructive act does it? It seems pretty inflammatory, like throwing fuel on a fire. Doesn’t really seem like this activity would serve to lessen the pain and suffering of the situation, but instead serve only to exacerbate it.

But looking more closely as the language, or the thought construct used in this movement. It generally appears to be saying something of the form:

“You should have done/not done something differently then what you actually did, or didn’t do”

So looking at this statement, we may see that what this really boils down to is one like:

“We/I desire you to have done/not done something differently that what you actually did/didn’t do. And because you did/didn’t do it in the way in which I desired, I am scared/hurt/angry/frustrated/upset/etc.”

So this structure appears to be akin to what is called a “grudge”. It’s a desire that can never be fulfilled because there is no way to go back in time and re-do the thing in the manner that would satisfy the desire. In short, blaming appears to be just flat-out counter productive.

And being a desire, it then brings to the fore of experience all the properties of being in the grips of desire. That is, the desire creates the fear of having to live with the “undesired”. That fear, would then seem to produce anger of having to live with the “undesired”. Then generating constant anger and resentment because the desire can never be fulfilled. So it really is nothing but toxic for a human being and humanity as a whole.

The next question one might ask is, what exactly is blame intended to achieve? What is the intended purpose of engaging in the act of blaming someone?

The author means this quite seriously and literally. Let’s look at this together like scientists studying say…, the climate, or the ocean, or viruses under a microscope, etc..

Is it intended to somehow produce the opposite effect? That is, since someone acted inappropriately in some situation/circumstance, is it then intended to get them to go in the “correct” direction and act “appropriately” according to some idea or ideal? Outside of this, I can’t see any other constructive reason.

The author invites the reader to also please investigate this for themselves.

So then let’s see how viable this tactic is. That is, how probable it is that the intended outcome will indeed occur?

Well, when we blame someone, it’s sort of a kind of aggressive, attacking action, and so how do people typically react to that sort of experience? Is the reaction typically one where someone would say “oh yeah…, you’re right… I was wrong. I learned and will do it differently from now on.” That may rarely happen, but the operative word there is rarely. We all know that more often than not, people are going to become defensive and get their backs up, and we’re going to be left with a non-constructive situation. In fact, we’re going to end up with the opposite, a destructive situation. And so yet again we have thought exasperating the pandemic crisis.

Is any of this true?

Please examine/look at/observe this for yourself by observing yourself to see what the truth is first-hand but do so without any motive. If there’s a motive it will skew the results. To not have a motive just be “aware” that there is a motive and it will vanish and you can go back to the business of observing and ultimately “seeing”.